5 Of The Funniest Dear: Blank, Please: Blank Letters

For all the courier connoisseurs who know their envelope etiquette, every postal pundit knows that the traditional letter format goes a little something like this:

Dear (blank)

Body of message

Sincerely (blank).

A standard practised in the mailing industry, this approach is not only simple, it’s also…safe. Which is why Jared Wunsch and Hans Johnson decided it was time to challenge this convention – in the form of the very hilarious and ironic ‘Dear blank, please blank’ project.

“We had this idea for a website, mostly because Hans had a bad experience,” explained the project’s authors. While the letters start and end with the familiar ‘dear’ and ‘please’ wording, it’s the unusual concept of said ‘bad experience’ that has helped make this small-scale project a worldwide phenomenon. So without further ado, we present to you five of the best ‘Dear blank, please blank’ correspondence:

1. Dear Diet Coke,

I feel like you’re overreacting.


An experiment combining Diet Coke and Mentos to cause an eruption conducted by Lee Marek and Marek’s Kid Scientists led to this becoming a viral mimicked by other wannabe scientists – but we’re over it now, as demonstrated by said letter.

2. Dear Yahoo,

I’ve never heard anyone say,
“I don’t know, let’s Yahoo! it…”

just saying…


“You know what’s a great idea? The next time we do an online search, let’s Yahoo! it,” said no one EVER.


3. Dear Noah,

We could have sworn you said the ark wasn’t leaving till 5.

The Unicorns

OK so rhinos are practically unicorns but imagine a world where Noah’s ark had hung around a while longer (just saying).

4. Dear Frozen fans,

Let it go.

not a fan

While hearing Frozen’s “Let It Go” is OK for the first few hundred times, it does get somewhat unbearable and annoying to hear it on repeat everywhere in the world.

5. Dear recently graduated college students,

Have fun moving back in with your parents!

the economy.

Because let’s face it, there’s nothing better than coming home to freshly cooked food and your laundry done courtesy of your parents – remember, family time is FUN time!

Do any of you fancy giving this writing project a go? Simply head to dearblankpleaseblank.com and post your work online – or alternatively, get your friends and family involved by sending each other your own ‘Dear blank, please blank’ letters. Oh and please – feel free to share your ‘Dear blank, please blank’ letters in the comments box below!

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